Ms. Stress

So much for the much needed ‘stress free’
You know, those times when it’s just me
And not the weight of the world
Not the hard work of healing my society

But it don’t exist
Instead, reformation has become the replacement
Of my me time
My allotted 15 30 45 minute, one hour lunch and the bathroom break in between time

Like energizer shoots a commercial
Since we just don’t know when to quit
But we can’t see ourselves in this sick
and twisted up Universe
Because I’m breaking out of earth's hell to sing my verse
And I didn’t get to practice or rehearse
My lines
Had to perform life impromptu
Because they keep taking away my me time.

So I got to take all I got
Take all I have
and work with and make due
Since the moments before this show when I was supposed to know what to do,
Was snatched away like a cradle becomes the grave
Of all those now living
But I keep praying
Keep on believing and hoping and wishing
That this stress
That keeps me messed up
This mess that keeps my shoulders tensed up
And this stress that keeps my eye brows furrowed up
And this stress that keeps my hair messed up
And this stress that keeps my blood pressure high
Proves worth it in the end
Since they don’t know when to quit
Cutting into my me time

The Advancement of a Race

The Advancement of a Race

Back then people was looking for a better way
Back when whites was king
And blacks was slaves
Now we just looking for a way to get over
And can’t keep our women from getting under
Any man

Back then drug and drink was recreational
They knew when to stop and when to go
Now we let the pipe and reefer control
Our minds
And we didn’t learn from the times
That others wrote down for us

Back then a man seventy years old had a reason not to know how to read
Didn’t have nobody to teach
The finer points of the game
Now we got kids ten times his junior
That can put on a show for audiences but can’t do simple algebra

And that don’t add up

Because back then they appreciated the little things in life
And kept up with every move made and kept family tight and close knit
And taught them the difference between living and letting live
And no one went astray

Because Sunday school and Wednesday bible study
Choir practice and revival
Were the law
And you participated regardless
Now the preachers begging change
In more ways than one
And ain’t really teachin
Healin
Or helping none
Because they are thieves in their own ways

Now they tell us that back then, we was oppressed suppressed, repressed and couldn’t impress
The urgency of our situation
On those not starting the reformation
Of Black back to good
Since back then, we was really doing better than good
Now we struggling with addiction, poverty, mistakes, heartbreaks, backbiters, chauvinism and abandonment,
And I still don’t understand why we call this “advancement”

My Rise

Lately I’ve just been available
No cute status
Or lyrical note

Just me
Being
Completely free

And alone

Like one goldfish swimming thru the glass ceiling
Called MY RISE

From the legendary ghetto
From the sanctified holy ghost
From the impoverished projects
From the query letter’s reject

MY RISE

Alone

Like a cave man’s daughter
Frustrated and
Aggravated

Because I can do better

So I rise
Through the glass ceiling

Alone

Since I don’t like promises that go unkept
And hands in marriage that get disrespect
And men and women
Mistaking lust for love
And leaves for roots
But I am not bitter
Just facing the truth

Of matters others left concealed
Like weapons of mass destruction meant to kill

This princess
This diva
This Queens
Ultimate end

Still
I ascend

Through the glass ceiling
Called MY RISE

Alone

Making Ways

Waiting is hard work
Like working is hard doing
And doing good is hard making
Ways to get by

Robbing Peter
And paying Paul

Singing hooks
And dressing to kill
With double takes
And second glances

This chance
Is
What feels like my one and only chance
To do this right
But doing good is hard making

A way out of none
Learning from mothers
Who taught us best
How to get things done

Bending over backwards
Smiling sweetly to
Make ends meet
And waiting on the mail to come

But waiting is hard work
Like working is hard doing
And doing good is hard making
Ways
To get over
On my fellow man

Throwing knives at each others backs
Because we all are fighting for something worth saving

Our patience
Our patience
Our patience

Because waiting is hard work
Like working is hard doing
And doing good is hard making
Ways

From the Foxx’s Reign Collection

Laughing

Sometimes, you have to laugh to keep from crying. Sometimes, it be like that
So you take your heart breaks
and learn from your mistakes
you pray little harder
and look a little closer
at life's little hints

Because that's all you can do.

In Theory

When you break it all down
All are indeed created equal
Just forced to be separate
Through some fair injustice

If double the necessary equals
a Success twice as sweet,
half the portion used
gets you all the sweetness you need

And that works for coffee or cake
but not in life
because you gotta be wiser than educated fools
using smart carpentry and burlary tools
to break into
print

To stay one step ahead of the races winner
and remain a little more repentant than the average sinner
Or else, you just wont make it

Like I can't make this
image of my skin
transform
into super human
superwoman
super model
Vogue-worthy reflections
without the smoke that accompanies mirrors
and bloodcurdling screams from bone chillers
and trust,
you ain't survived nothing that scary...
yet

So when they say
you'll find out one day
when you'r e older
more mature
DONT DO IT
don't believe them
because that time doesn't exist

It's all a hopeless figment
of being and not being
dehumanized
and desensatized

And when you add it all up
and do the math
given the proof
and finish the story,
given the muse

and hypothesize and philosiphize
and count down your life from when you started this journey

It wont make sense
unless you break it all down
size it all up
and keep it all strictly in theory.

Tucking it In : On Oblivion

For so long, I've been trying to wait my turn
To speak when spoken to
and never just jump in
Until I was NOT taken notice of

So when she gets a new flavor of the week
and he's lost love, life and happiness
I just dont find myself able to evoke emotion
becuase I'm still trying to feel soemthing for me

And this ain't a bitter love song
or a spicy hate poem
its just truth
like real words
scriptures and Bible verse

because finally, i am saying what I feel
I DONT CARE!
if the baby's due next week
and the checks are late and the
preachers robbing the congregation

It is not my problem that the pipe lines broke
or that gas sky rocketed in the past 24 hours

It is not my responsibility to fix breakfasts and lunches and dinners
for hordes of unthankful human beings

and It is not your business
how I choose to run my business
just as long as I am indeed the one running it

and words, letters
dont feel like fire
just hott tongues
raked over coals
fueled by the desire to finally
say what I been wanting to say

since for so long
I have been merely
swallowing fears
and holding back tears
so that the world sees me happy
and in control
and only playing the games i can win
when in reality, I am human and i am woman
and all this time,
I just been tucking my emotions in.

Welcome to My Life

I give you, The Working Class:

My mother and father are too tired to cook dinner in the evenings because they both work full time jobs. Daddy is in the labor force: a factory worker. My mother stays anchored to the bottom of the career ladder as a mere Teacher's Aid instead of getting her degree. It is too expensive.

They eat in silence, a meal prepared by me (the one in the bunch who knows the difference between salt and pepper), and speak only of how good it is. When finished, they have just enough energy to take quick showers and sprawl in bed, awaiting much needed sleep. Only to be awakened again at 4 am at the latest to rise and shine and do it all over again.

Mother envies her friends and associates. You know, the ones with the nice homes, multiple cars, and most of all, "kitchens that have nothing down," like the one she so desparetly wants. Clean, neat surfaces, and just-like-new furniture.

These people play out roles they never auditioned for. It's just life making its rounds. You know the old saying or teaching that you can't help what family you are born into? Well, to that, add the fact that you also can't help how wealthy that family is. And whatever status you are born with , you die with. Maybe even a little bit less. Because that's the way the cookie crumbles. Funny isn't it? But my question is: is it really all that fair for the rich to get richer and the poor to get poorer with no happy medium? Is it always going to be that way? If so, why?

Gaze into the Future? Not Likely

I find that one of the most difficult things about living this life is: we never know what’s going to happen until it does. I mean that sucks right: having to go along wondering what’s next. If anything. Makes us second guess our decisions and procrastinate to make choices. Wonder what if, and if only.

Makes me sick. So I say, the best thing we can do about it is pray. Sometimes you just pray. Other times you got to pray a little harder. And mean it. Otherwise, it’s all in vain. I’m I right? Of course I am. Ask for guidance and direction and wisdom and understanding and clarity. Yeah, that among a host of other things will make this life a lot easier. That is, unless you know a psychic. A real one.